


Dean does this thing.

by MothMeetsFlame



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 31daysofqueerdean, Complete, Gay Pride, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, character sketch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 02:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2091687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MothMeetsFlame/pseuds/MothMeetsFlame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not like it’s really all that important. He’s just one guy, and he’s not even fighting for anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean does this thing.

**Author's Note:**

> The 31daysofqueerdean prompt list on tumblr ([here](http://31daysofqueerdean.tumblr.com/post/93540769678/soullessbrothers-with-inspiration-from-the)) got me thinking about Dean in a ways that I never considered before. Today's prompt—Dean in Pride colors—was something I couldn't really see Dean doing because I couldn't see Dean ever broadcasting it. This is a half-character sketch, half-story that I thought about, leading into Dean wearing pride colors. Hope you all like :)

Dean does this thing.

He doesn’t know why he does it. It’s not really anything that matters in the long run. He hasn’t even told Sam yet even though it’s been years since their dad died. He never told John, but Dean thinks he knew. There were too many disappointing glances whenever his eyes mistakenly raked over the wrong type of person at a bar—because it had to be a mistake right?—or when that pair of panties that John found in his duffle seemed a little too big to fit any of the women Dean had been with.

So, it’s not like it’s really all that important. He’s just one guy, and he’s not even fighting for anything. He cares about gay rights like he cares about who the senator of Texas is going to be. It’s obviously important, but it doesn’t affect him directly—it’s not like he can get a real job or marry who he wants to anyway—so he gives a silent nod of approval whenever he reads about a milestone in the paper as he’s skimming the thousands of articles he combs through a week to search for their next Hunt.

But once a year, Dean does this thing.

He combs the papers like always, but he concentrates on certain states—on certain towns and streets even—looking for both types of news this time, instead of just their usual haunts. He pays close attention to the victim list, to the area, to the local and city news. He almost always finds a couple dozen Hunts that he and Sam can check out, so they do.

He makes a point to draw attention to the rainbow flags hanging from the stores and the food places they enter, not even remotely hinting to Sam that he refuses to eat where one doesn’t hang during this month. It’s why he picks these places after all.

He throws out a few homophobic slurs that hit him right at home, even though he’s the one making them, but he can’t help but feel a little bit of warmth light inside of him whenever Sam throws him a bitchface for it.

Sam would be okay with him. He wouldn’t see Dean as someone who needs to be fixed like their father, or someone who needs to be coddled—if however poorly—like Bobby. He’d go right along with whatever Dean wants to do about it, lending silent support and looking out for him like a good brother, but that’s not what Dean wants.

Dean doesn’t know what he wants.

It’s been his secret for so long that it’s a part of him now. He isn’t who he is unless he’s hiding it, so he doesn’t tell Sam, doesn’t tell Cas or Bobby or Kevin even though they’d all say that there isn’t anything they’d have to try to understand, that he is who he is and screw whatever else. He doesn’t tell Charlie either, but he thinks she already knows. He’s always worn his heart on his sleeve, but she’s the only one who knew where to look for it because they’re one in the same.

But there’s one thing he can do, and he does it once a year. He does this thing where he silently roots for the people who have the guts to tell their friends and family and fight for what they believe in. And he does this thing where he takes on a few simple Hunts in the areas where they are so that they can rest easy, no poltergeist or werewolf or shapeshifter keeping them from taking the fight all the way to the top. Dean does this thing where he tips a little better to the waiters and waitresses and bartenders with pins, and he keeps an eye out for Baker’s flag in the window of every place he has need to enter, even going out of his way so he can join the silent stream of supporters.

And if there’s a small patch of a flag sewn into the seams of every pair of jeans he owns so that he can feel a little better about himself from July to May, well… Dean does it. Because that’s what he does. He does things like that sometimes. 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry people. I have smut that I'm going to post later. I'm not going fluff on you guys :)


End file.
